I use Dictionary.com – The world’s favorite online dictionary! to look up the word friendship. When I do that if find this definition:
- a person attached to another by feelings of affection or personal regard.
- a person who gives assistance; patron; supporter
- a person who is on good terms with another; a person who is not hostile
I then decide if the judgments and unsolicited advice offered is deserved or if it is toxic.
If these people are “judging me and giving me advice” because I am doing things that are harmful to me or to others, then I deserve what they are doing. It is not hostile, it is assistance and proof of affection.
If these people are “judging me and giving advice” to me because I am not making choices that they selfishly want me to make, then they by definition are not my friend.
If this is the case then your question becomes invalid. I do not have to deal with a friend doing this to me. Because they are not a friend.
Life is to precious to waste it dealing with harmful people. I say goodbye to them as “influencers” in my life. I am willing to be around them some in hopes they become better, yet I will not allow my emotions to become dependent on their negativity or to follow along with it.
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